Embrace the Uncomfortable

With English being my second language, the last thing I could ever imagine is becoming a published author with my book distributed in a dozen English-speaking countries. I also never imagined doing book promotion presentations to large audiences, especially via video.

And yet, my unimaginable dream became a reality. My book Soles of a Survivor was published in May 2021. And I’m grateful that Toastmasters has come along with me throughout this special journey.

Since joining Toast of Inverness in Centennial, Colorado, in 2014, I’ve learned that how well we can tell a story makes a huge impact on how much a message resonates with the audience. I also learned that a strong speech is carefully structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Only then should we begin to write, edit, and rewrite—just like a shorter version of writing a book. I used this skill when writing my memoir.

Soles of a Survivor is about the soles of my feet still bearing the scars of my horrific escape from Vietnam in 1987—where I trudged through the jungles of Cambodia as a child with a group of strangers seeking what we saw as the land of opportunity: America. My only possessions were two pieces of clothing and a heart filled with hope.

However, my book is more than a survival story—it’s also about the lessons I learned about humanity, diversity, and unconditional love since arriving in the United States. I met and married my Jewish beau and gained a deep appreciation for the parallels between the Jewish and Vietnamese cultures, and others as well. The book shares all these experiences and is an invitation from my heart to yours, a reminder that there is light at the end of every tunnel.

After delivering many Toastmasters speeches, I’d grown comfortable speaking before an in-person audience. However, I was afraid of speaking in unfamiliar settings, such as in front of a video camera. For one thing, I was concerned that new audiences might not be able to understand me clearly because of my Vietnamese accent.

Then COVID-19 hit the world, forcing our club to hold virtual meetings. It not only changed our meetings, it also drastically transformed the traditional way books are marketed. Tours, big gatherings, and bookstore events all went virtual. I had no choice but to adapt.

At first, I was quite uncomfortable and anxious. Thankfully, the members of my club encouraged me to practice with them. Initially, I could only notice my white hair sticking up, or imperfections in my makeup, or the lighting when my desktop camera was pointed at me. I was fearful about the whole world seeing my insecurities. Yet my fellow Toastmasters reminded me that virtual meetings were here to stay, and I’d better learn to embrace them.

So I did. Change is uncomfortable, but it can be a good thing to feel uncomfortable in order to grow. I pushed myself to accept the change. I’ve repeated this mantra to myself prior to many virtual meetings and interviews: Stop worrying about what viewers think of you! Just be yourself and communicate as if you were talking to them in-person.

I changed my viewing screen so that I could only see the attendees and not myself. I then consciously focused on looking at the camera and then briefly at the audience on the screen, so I could read their facial expressions. By using this technique, I became much more comfortable in my uncomfortable zone. I feel my personality now shines, even via video.

Based on my experience, I understand that having fears is normal. I hope that, just like me, you will embrace being uncomfortable and conquer your fears.

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