Finding Story-Worthy Moments

Holidays are rife with memorable moments, and some stand out more than others. For me, it was Christmas morning 1994. Snowdrifts reflected the weak winter sun, sending it streaming into our living room through frostbitten windows. The tree lights glowed brightly, carols sang out from the CD player’s speakers, and my sister and I were opening the last of our presents.

I knew what mine would be. It was all I had wanted—the only thing on my list. A Gone With the Wind Hollywood Legends Barbie doll, dressed in Scarlett O’Hara’s barbecue frock, with its jaunty straw hat and dainty parasol. The white-and-green gossamer hoop-skirted dress was as wide as my smile as I tore open the wrapping in anticipation.

But then, in an instant, my mood turned less merry.

I don’t remember what my final gift was—something thoughtful and fun, I’m sure—but it wasn’t my barbecue-frocked doll. As I was coming to grips with this tragedy, my sister opened her last present. It was, of course, in the ultimate of ironies, a Gone With the Wind Barbie.

“Santa must have thought you’d like the other present better,” I recall my parents saying. “And maybe he ran out of ideas for your little sister.” I was dejected, and my parents felt terrible. It wasn’t the best Christmas ever.

Finding Story Ideas in Holiday Mishaps

Luckily, though, this story has a silver lining—and that silver lining is the story itself. I may not have gotten a Gone With the Wind Barbie that bleak Christmas morning, but I did get an anecdote out of it. Hopefully, it caught your attention, and may have even triggered memories of your own less-than-idyllic holiday moments. That’s because stories help us connect.

“In the Toastmaster context, you often need to win over the audience, and you can do this with a little anecdote [to] make people smile,” says Jyoti Guptara, a Switzerland-based organizational storytelling consultant and founder of Guptara Strategy and Story. “Think, ‘What are things that people can relate to?’ Christmas is the perfect opportunity, because everyone else is going through the same awkwardness, the same travel, stress, juggling the same responsibilities.”

It’s safe to say that this dynamic applies to all holidays. Ideally, most of your experiences will be joyful and bright, but a few may be disappointing, awkward, or stressful. Whether it’s gift-giving gone wrong or a botched batch of cookies, a flight cancellation or a sprain on the ski hill, there’s always a chance for a less-than-fond memory. If you can look at a mishap and say, “At least it’s a story!” you’ll come out of it happier—and with speech material to boot.

Look for Story-Worthy Situations

Stories are everywhere—we just need to notice them. “It’s really important that we can prime our subconscious to recognize story-worthy moments, because we experience them all the time, especially around occasions like [the holidays],” says Guptara, “and yet we neglect to capture them, because we’re not thinking in terms of story.” A simple mindset shift can help.

When we look at the world through a storytelling lens, we start to see things differently. Everything is potential material, from the joy that wells up when you see the glow of a candle to the irritation you tamp down when your train is delayed. Any time there’s emotion, either positive or negative, pay attention—if you’re reacting strongly to that situation, others might too.

“One thing that can help you spot interesting story material [is to ask yourself], ‘Why am I feeling so anxious, upset, or thoughtful?’” says Guptara. “That’s a good clue for what could be an interesting story.”

We as humans react to emotional messages; the stronger the emotion, the more easily we can relate. We love a feel-good story, especially around the holidays, but uncomfortable moments can grab us, too. Think of that awkward conversation during your family’s holiday dinner or that embarrassing moment when you gave someone the wrong gift.

“Some of the best stories are when we cringe,” says Guptara, so we don’t need to completely avoid awkward anecdotes. Add some humor to your speech to make sure your audience isn’t too uncomfortable and use the emotion to make your message resonate.

Store Your Stories

As you identify anecdotes that might spark a connection with an audience, make sure you have a way to collect them. In his bestselling book Business Storytelling From Hype to Hack, Guptara suggests creating a Story Bank, a physical or digital repository where you can store your material. Whether you use a paper notebook, a document on your computer, or a note-taking or voice-recording app on your phone, the important thing is to start building up your supply base.

As you slip more and more into the storytelling mindset, you may start to see story potential in everything. Some experiences will clearly warrant inclusion in your Story Bank, while some may feel important but you don’t yet know why. That colorful menorah you saw in someone’s front window or the intricate Diwali decoration at a front door? Create a section labeled “Fragments” and add it there. “Even if it’s not a full story,” Guptara says, “maybe it has the seed of a story in it.” Review your fragments every so often to see if your seeds have grown.

If you’re not sure whether a particular anecdote is worth recording, err on the side of including it anyway. “Don’t think of it [in terms of] ‘Is this a good story?’ because that gets us into ‘judgment mode,’” says Guptara. “That’s not what we want. We want to start off curious, with a sense of wonder and discovery and adventure.” A sense of wonder is a wonderful thing to have during the holidays; if it can help you recognize potential speech material, even better.

Mine the Moment for Meaning

Having a storyteller’s mindset can be especially useful when we find ourselves right in the middle of a story-worthy situation. Consider a recent business trip that Guptara took. He experienced all the worst that travel can offer—delays, cancellations, red-eye flights. But he still managed to make the best of it. He took a step back and asked, “The kind of character that I want to read about, that I want to admire—how would he react in this situation?”

The answer allowed him to treat the disruption as an adventure, talking with his fellow passengers and having fun. “Thinking of it as a story … helped me respond differently than I might have done otherwise.” This perspective can help us be more resilient in negative circumstances, as well as more present in positive circumstances.

By approaching the holidays with a storyteller’s mindset, with a sense of wonder and a Story Bank at the ready, you’re setting yourself up to fully experience the season—and to be able to share it with others through your speeches.

(Un-)Wrapping Up

I shared the story of that long-ago Christmas with my parents a couple of summers ago. We had just watched Gone With the Wind together, and the subject of the Barbie debacle came up. I was over the disappointment, I assured them; 30 years of emotional distance can cure many wounds. They apologized for Santa’s callousness, and we all had a good laugh.

That laughter came back on Christmas that year, when I unwrapped my final gift. There, fresh from eBay, was my Gone With the Wind Barbie. That seed of a story from three decades before had already had a silver lining … and now it had a happy ending.

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