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Over the course of 42 seasons, Mike Krzyzewski led the Duke University men’s basketball team to being a fixture on the American college basketball scene. Much like in any organization or Toastmasters club, where people come and go, Coach K (his nickname), took players from different backgrounds, decade after decade, and shaped them into a highly effective team.
How did he do it? By focusing on one thing: building trust.
In his book Leading with the Heart, Coach K says, “In leadership, there are no words more important than trust. In any organization, trust must be developed among every member of the team if success is going to be achieved.”
He took time to meet with players one-on-one to build connection and get them on the same page. In team meetings, he’d invite them to speak so it wasn’t just their coach saying “We should do this,” but the players themselves who helped create the team culture. They had a set of team standards, which Coach K carefully influenced to bond the team together.
The Benefits of Trust
Trust is critical in any group of people working together, from sports teams to work committees to your Toastmasters club. Creating a safe, high-trust environment gives people the confidence to speak up. It makes guests feel comfortable and more likely to return to your club and become members. At work, it lifts staff performance, well-being, and retention.
A Google study showed that psychological safety is the number-one key to creating a high-performing team. Without it, clever, capable, well-meaning people may not share their observations or ideas, even when their contribution could have made a difference. To build it you need to encourage people to speak up, make it okay to share conflicting ideas, and even celebrate failure.
Think of trust as a psychological safety net that helps people feel safe and confident that they won’t be punished or embarrassed for admitting a mistake, asking a question, or offering a different opinion.
The ideal team environment is challenging but not threatening. Leaders who create a safe, high-trust environment ensure their team members can focus and get on with what needs to be done, rather than expending energy worrying about their own security or position within the team.
In this episode of The Toastmasters Podcast, business coach Lauren Parsons digs deeper into the analogy of leading like a master gardener.
How to Build Trust as a Leader
Trust doesn’t happen by accident—it needs to be built and maintained over time. Trust is all about perception, which is based on your behavior. A study by the Canadian military defined four pillars of trust: competence, integrity, benevolence, and predictability.
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Reflect on how well you display each of the four pillars and how you can improve them. Practical ideas for a regular audit include:
- Competence – Remain curious. Keep learning. Welcome regular feedback.
- Integrity – Communicate your values. Explain your thought process behind tough decisions. Always do the right thing. Be transparent.
- Benevolence – Take 10 minutes a day to get to know a team member more. Practice active listening skills. Remember details and ask how Tommy’s big game, Jessica’s recital, or their wife’s surgery went. Keep notes and reminders if you need help keeping track of these things.
- Predictability – Be prepared and on time. Have consistent rituals, such as walking around the office as soon as you arrive or opening your meetings with a question of the day. Follow through on promises and communicate if things change.
Interestingly, when a leader lacks two of the pillars, they are considered fatal flaws. Nothing destroys trust more than a lack of benevolence (making people feel like you don’t care about them) or a lack of predictability (being inconsistent).
You can be a capable, competent person, with good integrity and show up consistently, but if your team doesn’t feel you care about them, they will not trust you. Likewise, if you’re competent, have integrity, and genuinely care about your team, but you’re unpredictable—being easygoing one day, short-tempered the next and inconsistent in your decision-making—it’s difficult for your team to trust you as they can’t predict how you’ll respond or what you’ll do next.
Be Bamboo
Leaders are people, too. You don’t need to pretend to have it all figured out 100% of the time. In fact, doing so is counterproductive. It’s your humanity and your story that will help people relate to you and build trust.
Have the strength to be a bamboo leader—organic, real, and flexible—rather than a tower leader—stoic and immovable. Tower leaders pretend they’re always on top of everything and can come across as robotic, distant, and unapproachable. This breaks down trust.
One of the most powerful things you can do for your team is show up authentically and be prepared to share your imperfections. Admit when you don’t have the answers, be willing to ask others for input, and if you get something wrong, apologize. These actions require courage. They also inspire people to trust you and encourage your team members to do the same with each other.
Yes, as a leader you need to filter certain things. Don’t weigh your team members down with all your personal problems, but where it’s relevant, share how you’re feeling. Being able to say, “I was disappointed we missed out on that project,” or “I’m feeling a bit under the pump today,” gives people permission to also share how they’re doing, rather than pretending they’re always feeling fantastic.
Sharing Your Story
Reflect on the challenges you’ve faced throughout life and the key learnings you’ve taken away. Imagine you’re mining your life story for the gold nuggets that will equip and inspire others.
Practice sharing part of your story in speeches at your club meetings. Bring the story to life with dialogue, movement, and by expressing your emotions through your voice, body, and facial expressions. Most importantly, share what others can gain from your experience by summarizing your key takeaway in one memorable statement.
Great leaders use storytelling as a powerful way to communicate and build connection. The more you practice it, the more impact your story will have at work. You’ll have the confidence to naturally share part of your story in a team meeting or as part of mentoring conversations.
Trust that sharing your authentic story will help you connect with others, and in turn build their trust in you, significantly enhancing your relationships.
Lauren Parsons, DTM, AS is an award-winning Wellbeing Specialist, New Zealand’s Keynote Speaker of the Year and Educator of the Year 2023, TEDx speaker, author of Thriving Leaders, Thriving Teams and Real Food Less Fuss, and host of the Thrive TV Show. With over 20 years’ experience she is a sought-after speaker who helps organizations create a positive, energized team culture, where people thrive. Visit LaurenParsonsWellbeing.com.